Hello my name is College
And I'd like to welcome you
These next four years will likely be the death of you
We'll train you up in the way that you should go
And give you a piece of paper so all the world will know
You'll take 60 credits that you'll probably never need
All the while we tell you that you need them to succeed
Hi I'm graduation, you've shown your dedication
Now you go into the world and find an occupation
We gave you preparation
We gave you all the tools
Couldn't find a job within your field?
Feeling like a fool?
Oh no need to worry
We'll tell you what to do
Get a part time job
And enroll in grad school
Oh I'm glad you're back
It's nothing like before
Those pointless 60 credits
We threw them out the door
We cut your time in half
But double the tuition
We're pausing all your loans
So you can take out more
Remember we're just here to help you
Get your foot inside the door
This time when you look
You'll find a job for sure
Look the job market's tough
Don't let it get you down
Many just aren't hiring
Especially in this town
But remember all those loans?
We're going to need them back
We can make the payments easy
If we take them out your check
Now I know you don't make much
But any amount will do
If push comes to shove
Just come back to school.
